I had been complaining to my husband over work, home and personal stuff. And most of the time I noticed that he's not really interested in hearing all my grumbling, ranting and venting my disappointments to him. It, most of the time, ended in arguments that lasts me for a day or two without talking to him.
I would always tell him how my day at work was, that my boss did not acknowledge all my hard work, how I hate my maid's work performance, how this new girl annoyed me because she is too slow to adopt and master her job.
Little did I know the impact that I made to my husband. I found out that he easily gets irate when I question him especially when he's tired from work. This is not him, this is not the guy I used to know.
Before I retire to bed, I would usually scan my twitter and check if there is something new and interesting topic/blog that I can read. Last night, I came across to one of Felichi's blog in CBN Asia regarding complaining (http://www.cbnasia.org/v2/view/this-weeks-message ) and it hit me hard!
In Phil. 2:14, Paul said, "Do all things without grumbling or questioning", but why do I keep on doing it? Was that my old self? Yes, definitely and I, once again, was defeated by Mr. S.A. Tan. In James 5:9 it says, "Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!" I had been so judgmental! It is difficult for me to accept that it had become my habit but this thing need to stop before it destroys my relationship with my family, friends, co-workers and housemate. I know the fact that my relationship to God is not stable anymore. It's like I pray only whenever I feel like doing it due to the fact that my constant grumbling hinders me to communicate to Jesus.
Let me quote Felichi's prayer, "“Lord, forgive me for the times I complain. Thank You for Your patient love. By your strength and grace, I recommit to set a guard over my mouth when I am tempted to complain to others. I recommit to make You, my first stop, casting every care on You and yielding to Your way.”
Lord guard my mouth and my mind. Take over my heart and my life that I may not judge people anymore. You are the Sovereign Judge and you alone can judge us. Help me restore my relationship with you, my husband and everyone else around me. Let not my ranting, grumbling and mumbling become a habit, instead I ask you right now to help me overcome it and remind me that you alone can judge them. Thank you.
me and my two boys
